A PAIR OF ACES Two suits turned green to theme birthday suits in Bristol's WNBR 2015, but the birthday suits turned up suitless for London's & Brighton's WNBRs a couple of weeks previously.
London WNBR Saturday 13th June 2015
D&G, green and sexy in bowlers, bangles and beads, went green-shod to give gender the hoof, the body bit needed to put it back in its bitless place on the 12th London World Naked Bike Ride.
Information from Gene's cycle computer, starting Marble Arch ....
Total riding time 1hr 43 mins. Distance 7.64 miles.
Max speed 11.5 mph. Ave speed 4.4 mph. Finish Wellington Arch.
There were six start points, as in 2014 and the route was the same too, except that the final approach to Wellington Arch was on the cycleway in Green Park, rather than on the road at Constitution Hill. Rest stop at Lincoln's Inn Fields, none at Forum Magnum Square.
WNBR London 13-6-15
Click dem pics!
Training for London WNBR
Manchester's just about "do-able" from northern Cumbria re a there 'n' back in a day, last minute, weather watching WNBR decision, but they, (Manchester) daftly chose a 2015 Friday smack on top of the already long set London and Brighton Saturday & Sunday, (the previous weekend had been completely free on the WNBR calendar). D&G had booked Friday for getting bikes and bodies to London, so that put Manchester on hold. Unless you count Scotland, (where anything might not happen and probably won't), every other WNBR venue, (so far), even York, is a weather-risking trek with attendant probs, like how to get your bike to Marble Arch and whence. Getting to "whence" was easy, bikes on back of campervan, which becomes "whence" once it gets there. In 2013 Croft Van made it to Theobalds Park, a Camping and Caravanning Club site north of London and just "outside" the M25. From there Theobalds Grove Railway Station is a simple mile or so by bike, Liverpool Street Station being easily reachable, provided bikes can board one of Abellio Greater Anglia's trains. They can, but there is/was no bike-dedicated space and getting in the way of other passengers was no prob, whereas getting bikes aboard was, on account of the largeness of platform to train height at this station. Gene's hill skill wasn't up to this altitude challenge and he cocked up on first attempt, 'cos after Diane had hoisted her machine into carriage sanctuary, the doors closed with only half of G's front wheel trainside. What to do? Pull the thing out and watch D disappear south? Leave it in and witness the death throes of a mantid bicycle attempting to mate with a railway train? The train didn't fancy G's bike and made the decision. Doors opened for G's second boarding go!
In 2014 Croft Van II, (aka Maisie), became the same "whence" and the Liverpool Street trip went wheel-wedgelessly smoothly, but 2015 required new thinking if London, (Saturday), was to be followed by Brighton, (Sunday). Solution ... Alderstead Heath, a Caravan Club site south of London, just "inside" the M25. Merstham is the nearest railway station, but just the wrong side of a ticket price hike, so Coulsdon South won, three easy downhill bike miles, but a bugger returning to "whence" after a WNBR and associated London cycle streeting. Bike dedication on Southern's trains, (one of them), made getting to London Bridge a breeze. Getting back likewise. Not so that f...ing hill!
Brighton WNBR Sunday 14th June 2015 D&G cycling sexy still, but pink and blue as Belle and Beau.
Diane cut her hair shorter, (ever tried cutting it longer?), Gene grew his, (longer, of course), and dyed 'em, (one each), pink and blue!
Information from Gene's cycle computer, starting The Level ....
Total riding time 1 hr 44 mins. Distance 8.8 miles. Maximum speed 11.5 mph. Average speed 5.0 mph. Finish Black Rock Beach.
WNBR Brighton 14-6-15
Click dese pics!
M
2016 Afterthought
Brighton has prob not quite made M
M is Latin for F .. as in Fousand .. as in 1000 .. as in London and Brighton
WNBRs biked by quadruple figures .. as in lotsa sticky outs 'n' tucky ins!
Brighton reckon(s) 2015 was the 10th ride, but wikiworldnakedbikeride says there were 2 in 2009, making 11. Brighton 2015 followed London by a day, as it did, (says wiki), in '09, '10, '11, '12, '13, but not '14 and in '06 &
'07, the two were on the same day, but not '08. Clearly some thinking here as Brighton's organisation proved, brilliant, The Level to English Channel.
3-part programme, (clickable), existence thereof says as much. 3-part prog tells it all ... even a bike hospital following the bikes! D&G enjoyed this one muchly; great atmosphere, (bikers & spectators), live guitars to move to at non-movement stops, (keep scrolling, a video will come to you), with Mr Whippy and a sea paddle, (without rolling/hitching up trousers/skirt), to finish. The sun shone too! (See relevant bit a bit later on). What more could D&G want? Well, there is one prob. Brighton's a hell of a long way from where it's at & getting no nearer.
Two C’s and an H
(where “an” indicates proper lack of aspiration)
Can be arranged in 3 ways, CCH, the first, having been introduced elsewhere on this website …
CCH = Cat’s Cock Hair, a titchy amount of distance, as in length, width and ilk, as in unit thereof.
HCC, the third, Highly Comical Correctness, is plentiful and increasing exponentially/explosively, whichever fits the equation, which just goes to show that the amount of freedom in the Universe, while appearing to increase, is actually under the control of HCC. You can say what you like, as in freedom of speech, as long as it agrees with the modern liberal* mind and if you’re a male daring to allude funly, (though prob truly), to females, as in the other sex, (as in gender**), you’ll likely get bollocked, then debollocked, ‘cos feminismists think there’s two sexes, both female. (Recent example, 2015)
Second comes CHC = Cycle Helmet Culture. FMR, (F... me rigid) is a useful use-ism, but when in the 3rd person, as in thisfamilyrobinson, (D&G), FTR, (F… them rigid) is correct, though linguisticalically less effective. Nevertheless F is spot on CHC-wise, ‘cos F knows they, (CH’s) are as barmy as they look, never more so than WNBR context-wise, where extreme barminess, as in evidence thereof, is obvious. But that’s all been banged on about elsewhere, so, D&G, bang on no more!***
* Most folk are DGAT, (Don’t Give A Toss), which lies SDC, (Spectrum Dead Centre), as in Intolerance Spectrum, which increases from the middle out to the extremes of Obscurantism and Liberalism, outright intolerance and intolerance of intolerance respectively. The other problem with liberalism is the blur into license. There’s titchy evidence of this in WNBR, (see below).
** Gender has nowt to do wi’ sex, which was D&G’s theme in London 2015. This has been banged on about elsewhere also.
*** More banging on in spite of. CH’s are STH, (Seriously Top Heavy), especially in WNBRs and carry HDR, (High Decapitation Risk). STH might be a joke, HDR isn’t and G knows of one case where a motorcyclist was decapitated when the peak of his helmet caught an obstruction he would otherwise have cleared.
Décor and Decorum
Some folk self-decorate unprompted by WNBR and/or ilk, though why bonny lasses want to drill holes in nipples et al, or turn skin into graffiti walls is beyond G. D feels much the same way about blokes, some of whom opt for penial scaffolding, obvious lack of which is sufficient demonstration for most WNBR chaps. Not all though and at least one extended male was chucked off a ride in 2015. There have been others who should have been, but the principle applies to behaviour in general, including “decoration”. On all their eight rides, (five venues), to date D&G have found WNBR spectators enthusiastic, appreciative and demonstrably supportive. There are always a few who complain though and turning naked freedom into a permissive frolic will encourage more.
D&G thought long about their bike-borne messages London ’15, which simply pointed out that “Gender” doesn’t mean “Sex” as some seem to think. They believe they were just the right side of a line that some 4-letter jobs, (“Strong Language” of TV station warning), aren’t. One feller appears in the Bristol pics and in Diane’s video only because he happened to be where the camera pointed. The Indian head-dressed inline skater of London ’14 & ’15 appeared Brighton ’15 sporting “F...You Oil” on his chest. Rightly no D&G pic of him, impressive wheels and feathers, (synthetic, so oil-dependent), notwithstanding.
“My bum smells better than your car” might make some contemplate which they’d rather ride in, but means bugger all outside subjective judgement, while “Love your body” is a message well scent, even if you prefer someone else’s fragrance. At London ’15 this eye-catcher was a two-fold newlywed body paint job, (see London gallery). Brighton ’15, (see gallery), included a girl who showed everything, her skeleton as well; no hint of offence there, just effort, imagination and a brilliant piece of body painting. WNBR could do with more like her.
Have painted body, will travel?
After eight rides D&G haven’t cracked WNBR body decoration yet. How did Skeleton Girl do it? Did she have help? Did she pre-decorate and venue-arrive ready to go? Did she arrive venue-unpainted? D&G have seen folk painting up at venues, (some better appointed than others), but also folk turning up already elaborately decorated, so it’s either transport paint and ilk to start location, or pre-decorate to survive the journey. 2013 London and York D&G painted each other at the starts, (fairly uncomplicated themes and there was no rain, a potential further problem). 2014 London similarly, but at Canterbury and York more ambitious designs didn’t wholly survive short bike rides to venues and required touching up on site. The problem is abrasion from clothing and/or dampening from perspiration.
For 2015 D&G tried a new approach, temporary tattoos, (i.e. transfers). If your inkjet printer will take the (thickish) paper, (more than a quid a sheet, dependent on quantity bought), you can design your own and apply ‘em with a dab of water. Trick is to pre-think and fill your expensive A4 with (laterally inverted) design to avoid wastage. Once on they’re waterproof, (D&G shower-tested at home), but are they travel proof?
The London Sex Symbols etc. survived train and bike journeys sub-clothing pretty well, the Brighton ones were unscathed after like bike transportation, but Bristol was a different story. Two bike miles was enough to make a big mess of G’s Heart, which needed desperate attempts at repair. D’s Club was luckier, but didn’t escape totally. Why? Probably because it was very hot and perspiration under the transfers, (particularly the larger areas), loosened them. Back to the drawing (painting) board?
Bum Sunometer
D&G's 8 WNBRs ... rainless! 2015 London sun in later stages, Brighton much more sun in later stages, Bristol a sunful day sandwiched between 2 wet ones. Look what Brighton's sun did to un-temp-tattooed skin. Woulda done the same to unpainted, but note gender ... er .. sex ... after-bum difference. Female deffo more sun-sensitive.
Click dese 'ere pics!
Bristol reckons 4 miles. It felt more and G's bike computer said 7.3 miles Full Moon to Full Moon (Pub)
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Total riding time 1hr 19 mins. Maximum speed 12.8 mph. Average speed 5.5 mph. Wiki says Bristol has
had 6 consecutive rides '10 to '15 inclusive, plus '06 and a post-ride announcement declared 427 riders in
2015, almost doubling the previous best of 220. Another example of excellent organisation & much else.
2015
D&G played Aces in Green
WNBR Bristol 27-6-15
Pics 2 B clicked!
Shocked to see .......
1987, D&G's son Martin's 4th birthday, M & a pile of friends at Keswick Pool, bigger pile of photos. A few decades on D&G photo-ing grandkids bollocked by staff at same venue and now naughtily sneak Zoe (2yr)* pics contra wall warning signs born of thinking that has unhealthily invaded society and is probably behind the few complaints generated by the participation of children in Brighton WNBR 2015.
Long sentence followed by short; how sad! No doubt British Naturismists would agree. They'd be right, but they weren't when their website insisted there was no Bristol ride in '14, causing D&G to miss it. Not so '15 and a kidlet participant deliberately self-included in a pic, (see Bristol gallery). You'd have a job explaining why that's shocking! * Zoe Elizabeth Robinson, one of D&G's granddaughters.
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