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SCROLLABLE BODY ART

Now there's an idea .... but this isn't it. It's just a scrollable panel banging on about body art, as in D&G's strugglements therewith.
2013 London D&G body painted (simple stuff) at venue. Ditto York, prob their most effective paint job so far.
2014 London as above, but Canterbury & York D&G clothed rode pre-painted to venue. Some paint damage, needed touch-up aka repair. Coulda been worse. And that considers not the effect of WNBR rain, to date unknown to D&G. So switch to "Tattoos", as in removable, as in temporary, as in what we as kids called "Transfers", as in not really tattoos at all, as in they'll be waterproof for deffo. Also can spend yonks-a-plenty designing/preparing/buggering about pre-prioring. So ......
2015 London, Brighton temp tattoos sub-clobber transferred body-applied to venue. All OK ... but ... Bristol's ditto not OK for G.
D's female so might "glow" if pushed. G's maleness guarantees perspiration, even over titchy distance on a bonkersly hot pre-ride ride. Rain on fake tattoo OK, moistureness under same unOK. Result ... G's body art a right F-ing mess! D attempted repair ... and F knows what the result woulda been if the untattoo had've been applied to a potentially sweaty 'orse, (where it's the sweat that's potential, not the 'orse). And it's the result that actually was that matters, not all the other thingments the Universe is capable of, (including the grammatically correct version, which ends ... of which the Universe is capable.) Please note, or just bloody well note ...Universe has an upper case initial letter as explained elsewhere, as in somewhere else. All this led to an understandable cock-up, which was anything but understandable pre-cock-up. Had it been said cock-up woulda had no pre-.
2017 Manchester. Apply "tattoos" at venue to avoid Pre-Ride Ride Perspiration Initiated and Enhanced Prior Buggerment (PRRPPI&EPB).
Follows a list of things that can (will) go wrong ...
1. God is against you.
2. The Laws of Physics are against you.
3. The Laws of The Universe are against you.
4. It's just typical.
5. There's something you haven't thought of .... OK that's enough 'cos there are loads of other things that can go wrong.
What did go wrong was Manchester's weather. Well, to be fair, (although why in Manchester's case is a mystery), it could've happened anywhere, except where it couldn't, like on the Moon, for obvious reasons.
Temp "tattoos" have a backing paper, (on the back - clever, eh?) and a transparent front bit covering the adhesive, which has to be removed, (covering bit, not adhesive) before applying, tricky at the best of times, more so when you're hopping around naked in front of a gathering audience. Adhesive exposed the thingy is presented to the skin and then, (and only then), the backing paper is moistened, (sponge and titchy bottle of water having been brung for that purpose), enabling it (backing) to slide off leaving the design skinside. D&G now know that the hopping naked difficulty is increased no end if it is raining, is going to, or has been, which was the case at Manchester. It had been tossing down all afternoon, then stopped for D&G's ride to the start, but there was enough damp suggestion of rain in the air to render the "tattoo" job an unfolding calamity of the potential sort as backing paper got soggier as well as more soggy. Diane's (done first) were reasonably successful, Gene's were a disaster. Two didn't happen at all. Any photo you see of G with sun motifs on his chest are faked! D&G didn't make things easy with a fairly involved design of course and the flicking pics top page
L&R give some idea of the gold/silver lettering that should've appeared on their naked fronts along with eclipse/phases on pubic bits specially "cleared" for the occasion, (and retained thus for the WNBR season), as well as G&D as Sun and Moon respectively, as part of bike-borne "Heavenly Body" messages.
All a bit ambitious 'cos Manchester's ride remained warmish but damp enough to say it was just about raining even if it wasn't. It taught a lesson too. D&G applied "tattoos" pre-venue for Brighton, Cambridge and Newcastle/Gateshead later in 2016.
To make Temporary tattoos the D&G way buy inkjet tattoo paper, (e.g. Crafty Computer Paper) after you've made sure your printer will take it, (it's quite thick stuff). Print your design, (on the glossy, non backing paper side), then stick the transparent adhesive carrier over the design , without creating air bubbles, (tricky!). This is the bit you'll eventually remove while hopping naked, or otherwise, before applying. The paper's expensive, (more than a quid an A4 sheet even in quantity), so don't cock it up. Anything that matters, (like wording), has to be laterally inverted, as in mirror imaged, otherwise it will come out reversed. D&G try to fill the sheet with design, (it's too expensive to waste). Manchester's "tattoo" difficulty annoyment was magnified 'cos the designs involved much silver and gold, not exactly inkjet printable. Gene used silver and gold marker pens to hand colour printed outline "tattoo" sheets and it took him yonks!

WNBR Message. Banging on accusatorially about (naughty) motorists killing (goody-goody) cyclists isn't really on, speshly when WNBR itself accomodates bike idiots like the three at Manchester who wove in and out of the group pulling wheelies and other barmy stunts. They came within a CCH of de-biking D&G and got a bloody good bollocking. For CCH see elsethere.

You

are here

Brighton WNBR Sunday 12th June 2016

The route was the same as 2015's and is shown in the programme, (clickable right), also shown more clearly in 2015's programme, (see "A Pair of Aces"). Brighton like Manchester has had rides every year since 2006 and says (correctly) that 2016 is the 10th Anniversay. Manchester does

not appear to recognise that an annual event's nth anniversary marks the (n+1)th event. Also as noted on "A Pair of Aces" Brighton's record includes two rides in 2009, which would make 2016 the 12th, but March 2009's, a promotional ride involving a small number, leaves 2016 as the 11th, like Manchester's.

Info from G's cycle computer ... distance 8.71miles, max speed 12.6mph, average speed 5.8mph, riding time 1hr. 29m. Overall time was considerably more due to "rest stops", where folk do the opposite of rest! (see video). 2016 was 15mins faster than 2015, (weather?)

Non-sexualised Nudity

As has been noted elsesomewhere, this is bollocks! Well to be polite, testicles, in which case ovaries too. Well known 'tis that you can be nude without having sex, as well as have sex without being nude, but you can never separate your sexuality from you, naked or not. So, is your awareness of your sexuality enhanced, unchanged, or diminished when your sexual bits and everyone else's are enjoying a one-ish off airing? Well, the answer sure ain't "diminished"! Sex is wonderful, should be celebrated and can be celebrated naked without creating offence. A bike in a Naked Bike Ride is just the vehicle. D&G celebrated their F/M sexuality at Manchester with Moon and Sun in silver and gold and at Brighton with Roll and Rock in the colours nature gave to all. I Love Rock and Roll D&G like the music too!

Forward Planning for Brighton

As part of the aforementioned, (as in above), D&G decided to wear lots of colour, (but not on their sexy bits) and a picture of their sexy partner on their backs. To make said partner-pic recognisable (and sexy) she/he would have to appear exactly as on the ride itself, i.e. naked but wearing lots of colour. Mmm. Tricky. Means knowing not only what D&G are gonna look like on the day, but at any ride venue pre-dating Brighton. Manchester required pubic bits cleared to accomodate "tattoos", so Brighton's partner-pics, photographed in advance of the rides, would require cleared same bits even if they were not gonna be "used" except as bare bits, which was in fact the case. Follow? So D&G had to go out into their garden, strip off and photograph each other. Oh! What will the neighbours say? Well ,they (D&G, not the neighbours), did it (the photography), when it was dark. No, not to prevent anything to do with neighbours, to ensure a black background. D&G stood on their pic-nic table with the night sky behind to be photographed with cleared relevant bits and wearing nowt but exactly what they would be wearing at Brighton, including a chest "ROBINSON" rainbow "tattoo". The resulting photos were then printed, (laterally inverted, see SCROLLABLE BODY ART above) onto "tattoo" paper to create the body decorations worn at Brighton. Apart from "jewellery" D&G between them wore blue, orange, green, red shoes, pink, green, orange, yellow leg-warmers (glad of on the day) & hats blue and purple.

COLOUR CODING

for 33 photographs in Picture Gallery below

D&G parked their campervan, Croft Van II on the route in Kingsway near Hove Lawns Rest Stop.

The ride passed the campervan before the Rest Stop. D&G managed to take photos in passing.

RED Border ... Photographs taken 12th May 2016 in Croft Farm's garden. Photographs used to make decorations for D&G's backs.

GREEN Border ... Photographs taken 12th June 2016 at the start of the Brighton WNBR 2016 at The Level.

BLUE Border ... Photographs taken 12th June 2016 riding from The Level to first "Rest Stop" at Hove Lawns.

Pics above are clickable uppable, as are those below, which cover the two rest stops, (Hove Lawns and Old Steine) and the ride between them.

D&G were a bit naughty stopping to take these van pics.
They got in theway of some riders. Sorry if you were one of 'em.

Brighton WNBR 2016 Hove Lawns to Old Steine

Click up de pics!

Hectic stuff goes on at Brighton's "Rest Stops". The video lower down the page was shot by Diane and is a moving version of much of the stuff in the yellow gallery above. "Moving" as in motion & emotion!
The band is "PHANTOM LIMBS" Galleries below cover the ride from Old Steine right onto the beach.

One photo by Gene in the
yellow gallery is worthy of
Pic of the Day

CLICK IT!

Above ... The ride from Old Steine to Volks Railway Station finish.
Right ... Last year D queued for icecream, G's turn this year. D had a lolly and knew how to lick it! The icecream man asked if he could take D&G's pic! Below ... PHANTOM LIMBS at Volks Station. D&G on Brighton Beach.

Cambridge WNBR

Saturday 18th June 2016

Route, (good map on their Wiki site) … Parker’s Piece – Regent Terrace – Regent Street – St. Andrew’s Street – Hobson Street – King Street – Victoria Avenue – Cross River Cam – Chesterton Road

Cambridge WNBR 2016

Click dem pics!

– Northampton Street – Queen’s Road – Newnham Road – Fen Causeway – Cross River Cam – Trumpington Road – Brooklands Avenue – Hills Road – Cherry Hinton Road – Perne Road – Brooks Road – Coldhams Lane – Newmarket Road – East Road – Gonville Place – Parker’s Piece. Info from G’s Cycle computer … distance 7.95 miles, max speed 11.3mph, average speed 5.9mph riding time 1hr. 19min.

The ride took about 1hr. 45min. Rest stop Swiss Laundry, Cherry Hinton Road. Cambridge's 2nd Naked Bike Ride and D&G’s second on tandem.
Gallery above left had 55 pics - awkward, (55 product of 2 primes). Remove 1=54 with more factors. No. 55 clickable pic here

Video (left) is Brighton taking up some of Cambridge's space. Best to scroll it off-screen before clicking up galleries above.

Note

What nakedly to celebrate at Cambridge? Famed association with Academia? Why not?

No split infinitive

S

C
R
O
L
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Oxford had one ride, then faultered. Cambridge seemed to be going strong, so D&G parked their campervan in Oxford Road and biked to Parker’s Piece for the start. Amazing what you learn going clobberless around the country. In 1863 Parker’s Piece gave birth to Association Football, as in Rules of, as in FA adopted Cambridge University’s footie version. So in one go D&G formed their WNBR link to a soccer pitch that links to a University neither of them was up at. Well, G has been if not up at, at least at. Likewise Oxford. Gene the minibus driver delivered Cockermouth School 6th Formers to both Universities’ open days on several occasions and has not only kipped at both, but actually got away with a pink sleeve-challenged shirt of the untuckable-in variety minus tie at High Table at The Queen’s College, Oxford. Could be unique, but has bugger all to do with WNBR.
How to link a posh University, or at least a posh University’s home with WNBR? Wear mortar boards, green ones, (which meant constructing them), green shoes and green nowt else aboard a green tandem, which can’t be translated into Latin ‘cos it already is.* Great! All that’s needed is the Latin for Cambridge the Romans neither uttered nor heard of until after they’d buggered off and Tandem Cantabrigia on the back of the bike says it all in green, save a touch of Cambridge Blue and “tattoos” of City of Cambridge’s badge on the still specially maintained pubic bald patches**.
Note * Tandem is already Latin, not green or owt else in that sentence and if Tandem Cantabrigia doesn't mean "Cambridge at last" or similar then it bloody well should, which gets D&G out of saying they'll eat their hats, (or actually eating them), which considering they were 11inch squares of the rigid variety would have been quite some mouth(s)ful!
Note ** Latin for "pubic bald patches" doesn't readily spring to the minds of D&G but it matters not 'cos it ain't the point. Pubic bald patches in any language is/are (the point) and once you've gone to the trouble of creating your pubic clearing, said clearing tends to grow on you, (except it's actually the ungrowing that's growing on you), so the tendency is to lengthen the period of minimum length, where minimum is zero, (near enough).
'T'was a grey and chilly Cambridge day with but a brief touch of Sun's rays near the end of the ride. The questionable water resistance of the mortar boards was not tested. Over 100 folk participated, unfortunately, as with most smaller scale rides, mostly male, a problem WNBR might want to address, though D&G readily confess to having not a clue as to how! ***
The route was flat and by and large minus tricky bits so, as D&G expected, "tandem friendly" (ugh!) It's a pity it didn't get a titchy bit more intimate with the heart of the city, but maybe that's an issue the organisers have encountered.
*** Is the apparent male preponderance on smaller rides a genuine phenomenon, or is the naked rider sex ratio (NRSR) the same whatever the ride size, just less obvious with bigger numbers? Either way questions arise. See TTTTC.

Insufficient room here to include external links and there's still another 2016 WNBR (Newcastle-Gateshead) so go to